Worry...

Worry- v. wor·ried (wûr d, w r -), wor·ry·ing, wor·ries (wûr z, w r -). v.intr. 1. To feel uneasy or concerned about something; be troubled.

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Since becoming a momma, I am constantly anxious. When I was pregnant, I naively thought that once B was safe in my arms, I would be fine. I didn't really consider all of the other things there would be to worry about. I remember my VERY hormonal state the last day in the hospital and how it felt when we got home from the hospital. I cried when they took him for his circumcision... I cried when I saw what the circumcision looked like... I cried just thinking of all of the "what ifs". The first night we were home, I remember crying to Jonathan that I was worried that someone would hurt his feelings one day. Ha ha. He was only days old and I was terrified about all of the things in his life that would be unpleasant. Since October 1st, it feels that my heart is walking around on the outside of my chest. I have this primal urge to protect this sweet boy and make everything okay for him... and I feel helpless when I can't. Nothing makes you feel more like that than a baby screaming in pain for hours.

At the moment, I am sitting on the couch on this rainy day- laptop in my lap and my sweet baby boy tucked in next to me.... sitting upright in the Boppy... snoozing because we didn't sleep last night. Why the sleepless night, you ask? One dreadful word... REFLUX. Since Bennett was born, he has always been a noisy breather. He also had all of the mucus issues. Gross. He has also had mild reflux that never really caused any trouble. At first, we would hear something come up but he would swallow it back down. He never seemed to mind it. Recently, he has begun crying when it happens, will spit up during burping or randomly afterwards, and will cry for hours after eating. Jonathan and I had been thinking these symptoms were just tummy troubles related to gas. We would load him up on gas drops... lately to no avail. After the three hour crying jag Tuesday night and an hour long one Wednesday morning (and a few crying sessions on my part), I decided to call Dr. Hughes to see if she could help us! We went to see her yesterday afternoon. Our sweet boy has acid reflux. This causes the spitting up and even the noisy breathing as the acid can cause the nasal passages to become inflammed. She prescribed him Zantac and said to give it a week to see if we notice a difference. She also said to continue the rice cereal in his milk to help thicken it up, to keep him sitting up after a feeding, and to burp him like there is no tomorrow. So now, we wait and see. Hopefully we will have our happy boy back soon. In the meantime, I will be loving on this sad, sad, baby awaiting my happy baby's return. I will also be claiming this verse... not only for this week, but in the weeks and years to come.

**Oh, P.S.... B was weighed yesterday and weighs in at a healthy 10 lbs. 6 oz. :)

1 Peter 5:7: "Cast all your worries on him, because he cares for you."