Today...

“Your most profound and intimate experiences of worship will likely be in your darkest days – when your heart is broken, when you feel abandoned, when you're out of options, when the pain is great – and you turn to God alone.” ~ Rick Warren

Today, I am holding my baby boy just a little bit tighter. I am kissing his sweet head a thousand times over and staring at his sweet little face. I am memorizing his ten perfect little fingers and toes, his nose, the way his eyelashes brush his cheeks when he sleeps, the way his lips twitch when he dreams, and the way he smooshes his face against mine to give me kisses. Today has been a tragic day that has had me emotionally spent. I cannot imagine what these Mommas and Daddys must be experiencing. They sent their precious babies off to school expecting to pick them up in the car pick up line never knowing exactly how their day would end. 

I taught school for five years and never once did I feel afraid. I knew that my job was to teach and protect those precious littles that were entrusted to me by their parents. I was their teacher and I loved them because they were children and children are my passion. After I became a Momma, those babies became so much more. My perspective changed. They were precious, curious, amazing little miracles. They were somebody's baby. Today, 20 Mommas are mourning the loss of their babies. I am heartbroken for them as they go to bed tonight unable to tuck in their littles. Tragedies like this put everything in perspective but also make me so much more weary of the world that my sweet baby will have to navigate. I want to put him in a bubble where he will always be protected and safe. 

I have no idea why this happened. It is so hard to understand but my hope and faith is in the One who can bring healing and peace to the brokenhearted. 

John 16:33 -"I have said these things to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world."