God has big plans for everyone of us. HE knows the plans... Even when we don't. Last week, I was at a crossroads. I had been offered a job at my old school. It was a chance to get back in the district and back with my NSPS family that I miss. It played out too perfectly not to be in His plan.... Right?I rationalized it, I made it work logistically in my head. I accepted the position, resigned my position at LE, and went to work in the classroom the next day. At 12:30, I was ready to go get my baby. That should have been my first clue that this may not be the plan for me at this point of my life. B and I came home. I had already planned not to go back to work on the room the next day. I wanted to spend my last day before Teacher Workdays with B.
Friday morning, I woke up with a restless, stirring, spirit. Hmmm. Then, the tears started flowing when the Mommy guilt started setting in. What was I doing?! My hearts desire was to be a mommy first and spend time with B while he was young. That hadn't changed at all. i then realized that I had jumped into something head first that I wasn't ready for! A friend once blogged that she was a wife, mother, teacher, daughter and friend. She felt like Superwoman to e able to teach all day and be a wife and momma when she got home. I remember being on maternity Leave and feeling empowered by that; however, my reality was much much different. I went back to work and didn't feel that way at all. I am not one that can do it all and feel that I am doing everything well. That feeling led me to LE after much prayer. God heard my cries and the desires of my heart and gave me a job where I could do it all... And feel that I was doing a great job! I almost threw it away. Fortunately, God had it all under control and I was able to put the district job on hold or a few years and I was able to go back to LE. Actually, I am excited to be teaching kindergarten this year!! God is good!.... And so is my hubby. He was and is so patient, supportive, and understanding. He told me to do whatever made me happy. I remember being in the doctors office with B when I was considering quitting my fulltime job with the district when B was 4 months old. I was worried about finances. the nurse told me, "God will bless and honor your decision to stay home more with your baby. It's an eternal treasure. You can't get his childhood back." she is so right! God truly blessed me when he gave me Jonathan. I am one blessed girl!
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