In October of 2009, my uncle Neal had a stroke. The stroke left him blind but in the midst of it all, God was merciful. While he was in the hospital, his colon perforated. Had he not been at the hospital, the doctors said he may not have made it to get help in time. During this time, our family bonded together even more to care for and love on Neal. God performed a miracle and Neal regained most of his sight with the exception of his peripheral vision.
In January of 2010, My precious Meme went to the hospital with an imbalance of her electrolytes, among other things. She was also having trouble with decreased kidney function. After a few days in the hospital, her levels stabilized and she went home on Tuesday, January 12, 2010. She passed away the next morning in her sleep. This tragedy shook us to our core. Why had God taken her? She was the anchor of our family and my rock. She was one of my best friends and confidants and one of my favorite people on Earth. She just GOT me. She made me feel special. I grieved her for a long time. Truthfully, I still grieve for the moments I miss out on every day. Once again, our family grew even closer through this tragedy and life, though totally different, moved on.
On December 12, 2013, my uncle Larry told us he had been diagnosed with Lung Cancer. He had decided not to receive treatments. He was tired of being tired and was ready to go. I was devastated. He and I had spent countless hours together working on remodeling my house, in the sunroom at Meme's playing Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune, and just seeing each other everyday. I remember weeping and him consoling ME that night. Later, we found out it was Stage IIIB. He decided to receive treatments and fight it. He rang the bell after completing treatments and we got the news that his lung tumor was GONE. God had performed a miracle for our family once again. We breathed a sigh of relief and life went on.
The first week of May, Larry was on the tractor plowing and planting gardens. This was one of his favorite things to do and we were SO excited an thankful to see him riding that John Deere. After three days of farming, Larry started having back pain and took to the couch to ride it out. He was in a great deal of pain and becoming dehydrated. By Sunday, Larry was able to make it to granddaddy's for Sunday lunch. We were so glad he was feeling well enough to come up there. He didn't eat anything and looked terrible but we all figured that it was because he had been on the couch all week.
The next day, my precious uncle saw the face of Jesus. It was completely unexpected. Once again, we were heartbroken... BUT in the midst of it all, I was able to see just how great God was. I was completely broken BUT God sustained me. He was merciful. You see, Larry's friend had called me to tell me he wasn't answering his phone. She was concerned and felt that after seeing him that morning, that he should probably go to the hospital. She had left the back door open. I told her I would go check on him. Bennett and I got on the golf cart and headed down to Larry's house. We were at the back door when God VERY clearly told me NOT to go in. It was as plain as if someone had said it to me. I went next door to Neal's house and asked him to go in to check on Larry. He called a few minutes later to say that Larry was gone. God showed mercy. Bennett and I could have been the ones to find him. Emotionally, I don't think I could have handled that and it is definitely not something that I would want Bennett to experience and remember. What shocked us was not a surprise to God. God knew the number of Larry's days when he created him. During his funeral, the preacher said that he didn't know why God healed Larry only to take him, but that we would find out when we got to heaven. I feel that I know why. Our family, especially Larry, needed that miracle. Larry NEEDED to be reassured that he mattered to God and that God loved him enough to care about what was important to him. His faith needed that. God was making SURE that Larry KNEW whose he was... as his days were numbered. Through all of this, our family was devastated but once again, our village, though smaller, remained strong.
Having Bennett has made this process of grief much easier to bear. He was with me that day and asked why we weren't going in to Larry's. I told him that God told Mommy to let Uncle Neal do it. He saw me when I was upset. He saw me on my knees crying out to God, broken. We prayed out loud at our coffee table because I didn't know what else to do. He saw raw emotion but instead of shielding him from it, I explained it. I told him that I was sad that I wouldn't see Unc anymore but I was happy that Unc was in heaven with Jesus. While I was praying, he said, "Dear God, make Unc feel better" as this was our prayer each night. I explained to him that God DID hear and answer our prayer. Unc wasn't sick anymore and that God made him better in heaven. He asks about him everyday or will remind me that "God made Unc better" when I really need to be reminded of it. I have been real with him and he has made sense of it as well as a two year old can. He says "My want to go to heaven to see Unc. Mommy, you happy Unc in heaven?" or "Mommy, you sad you can't see Unc right now?"
My little one is super perceptive and God uses him to help heal my broken heart... and when I am explaining things to him, and trying to teach him who God is to me, it helps remind me of many things. While this life may be good, even with it's valleys, the best is yet to come. There is a life after this that is SO much more... and my sweet uncle is experiencing that life right now. For that, I AM happy... and boy, am I ever so thankful for this village that God blessed me with.
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