Monday morning, Holden was scheduled for surgery for tubes and adenoids. Sunday night, the original plan was for B to stay with my mama so he didnt have to wake up quite so early for her to take him to school. That didn't happen. He wanted to be at home with us so I didn't force the issue. I had everything packed and ready to go since we had to leave our house at 6:15am Monday.
Since Holden couldn't have anything to eat or drink after midnight, I woke him up to nurse at 11:35pm. He went right back to sleep. Then, he woke up at 4:15! Jonathan got up with him since we knew he would be even more upset if I got him and wouldn't let him nurse! He took a little catnap but never really went back to sleep. We got B up and took him to mama's and headed to the surgery center.
My nerves were a mess. We had a tired, hungry baby and I was nervous about the anesthesia! It didn't help that we had to wait for 2 and a half hours before they even started the surgery. He finally fell asleep in my arms about 10 minutes before they called us back into the holding room.
Him falling asleep was a blessing in itself because I just handed him to the nurse and he went right back to sleep and didn't panic. I probably would have been crying with him if he would have melted down!
Surgery was quick-- 20 minutes. Then, I got to go be with him as he was waking up from the anesthesia. I heard him before I saw him. He was very upset! He had a pulse oximeter taped to his toe, a bloodpressure cuff on the other leg, leads and wires on his chest, and an IV taped to a board on his arm. He was pitiful. He thrashed around wildly pulling my hair and crying. I nearly cried with him! When he wouldn't even comfort nurse, the nurse offered some IV meds and after two doses, he calmed down and was so relaxed! Here we are in recovery-- after his good drugs!
After we got home, he slept most of the day and was fussy when he was awake. He was hard to get to sleep but once he went to sleep, he woke up twice to nurse. He was probably making up for the 12 hours he couldn't eat yesterday. Big boy doesn't like to miss a meal :)
He slept until 8:30 this morning, and is happy as can be! Just look at this sweet face, would you! We were mid clothing change!
I hate for my babies to be sick, broken hearted, or in pain of any kind. The anticipation of even this minor surgery had me nearly sleepless the night before. I am so thankful for my healthy babies. I can't imagine having to hold my baby day in and day out as they receive tests or treatments. We "know" of two families that are doing that and it breaks. my. heart.
Baby Gideon and Baby Tenley are fighting for their lives and battling cancer. Gideon is a few months in to his journey and God is performing miracle after miracle in his recovery. Baby Tenley is just beginning hers. They are both April babies and exactly Holden's age. As a momma, I can't even imagine what these mommies are going through.
I messaged Tenley's momma and just told her that even though I didn't know her personally, my cousin and his wife were our mutual friends. I told her I as a mommy of a ten month old son, my heart was aching for her and that I was fervently praying for her and her sweet girl.
Her reply?
"Thank you so much! We are praying so hard for Him to heal our sweet baby. My mama heart is broken but I know that the Lord loves Tenley even more than we do--even though that is so hard to imagine. Please keep praying for our sweet baby."
Wow. Just wow. If something happened to one of my boys and we faced such uncertainty, would I be able to cling to the God I love and seek refuge as Jordan has done-- or be angry at him for allowing this to "happen" to us? It's really made me think and re-evaluate some things. It's also reminded me that my boys are HIS and are on loan to me--- and that HE loves my babies more than I can even imagine.
My heart is just so broken for these two families but they have been a true testimony to God's faithfulness and provision-- and they are a shining light for Him.
Today, especially, I am holding my babies just a little tighter and thanking God for entrusting HIS children to me.
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